our new normal

It's been quite a while since I've posted, and even longer since I've written anything substantial. I've decided to redirect our blog, since our lives have had a shake up in these past couple of months. I debated before doing this; not sure how "public" I'm ready to make this issue, and never want to want to focus more on one twin than the other in conversation. I decided that it might be a good outlet for me right now, though, as this blog had always been, and hope that it will let other who care about us know what's going on.

In mid-December, after months of concern, Violet was diagnosed with Autism. She is on the mild-to-moderate end of the spectrum. Ben and I have known that our Peanut is different for a while- she's always been fiercely independent, mostly anti-social and rather serious. We knew something was "wrong" but it was devastating to receive that diagnosis. My mind immediately went to visions of Rain Man, or this bizarre Autism documentary about the twins that everyone has seen. I wept for the thoughts of my sweet girl never marrying or having babies. I cried thinking about how much work we would have to do to help her. My heart hurt for Ollie, worrying he will become lost in this whirlwind. I'm crying less now, but new things still pop up that feel like we're hitting a new wall.

Two months later, we are very busy with therapies- Occupational, Speech and ABA and Water Therapy! Violet is doing very well, with some occasional, expected digging in of her little feet. Some of the therapists come to our house, and Oliver can be involved in the process, which he loves. I am learning a tremendous amount, too. I feel so grateful to know how to handle V's meltdowns now. It feels AMAZING to have moments with my girl when I can sense that she's just so grateful that I understand something she says, or that I can know how to say something to her in a way SHE understands.

It's funny, our life with twins has always been challenging. Wonderful, blessed, funny, but, still, a challenge. Since our diagnosis, all that has shifted a bit. In some ways it's more challenging. Ok, in most ways. But, we've definitely learned to let the little (and medium-sized) things slide, and have a huge appreciation for small victories.

Recently, I read a great article about raising a child with Special Needs. I really hope you'll read it. The basic thought is that becoming a parent is like preparing for a trip to Italy. You read the books about Italy, imagine the pasta dishes you'll have, think about La Scala and wine, learn the language. But as your plane lands, someone tells you you're in Holland. Still a very beautiful place, but very, very different from Italy. People are still traveling to Italy, all around you, and occasionally you get pissed or upset that you won't be able to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but you learn to love things about Holland. This is going to be my new way of thinking.

A life with tulips sounds pretty wonderful, huh?