labels

I went to Barnes and Noble with Oliver the other day; or as it's called in our house, "The Thomas Store", thanks to the huge Thomas the Tank Engine play area they have there. Violet was at the farm with her daddy, so it was a special Mommy & Ollie outing. Unconsciously, I migrated over to the 'child development' section, looking at the autism books, and I came upon this:

Have you read it? My sister was telling me about it recently; she had bought it to read to her kids. I had heard of it, but never spotted it in a store before. I guess I had kind of hesitated, too, because the authors are Holly Robinson Peete and her daughter, Ryan, who I'm kind of the fence about. She's blessedly no Jenny McCarthy (i.e Playboy bunny, vaccine eliminator and autism "curer"), but she's still a tad too 'autism glam' for me. It's hard to read about superstars with a billion dollars who can get and try everything for their kid.

Anyhow, I sat on the floor and paged through the book that day. A lot of parts moved me.

The whole twin thing; how they grew together in their mommy's belly. How the typical twin had typical interests, but the autistic twin liked more unusual things. I liked that they used the word "autism"; I've never seen that in a children's book before. Tears fell when I read the part about how the mommy felt really sad after the brother was diagnosed. I like that Ryan talked about how sometimes she gets frustrated with her brother, but also wrote about the special things they did just the two of them.

I didn't buy it just then, but I felt like I would.

Then, last night, tossing and turning and stressing, I found myself thinking about "My Brother Charlie" and what it would be like to read it to the twins. Oliver would respond really well, I thought. Maybe even be able to relate a bit. I imagined Violet lingering nearby, not one to ask to be read to, but wanting to glance at a page here and there, and listen to mommy read.

It struck me then, what would happen when we got to the word, "autism". Oliver would say, "Just like Violet has!"

And Violet would hear. And she would say, "I NOT have autism!!".  Oliver would retort, "Yes you do, Violet! Mommy and Daddy say you have autism and that's why you have trouble sometimes!!"

oh.

How the HELL do I have a conversation like that? Its not that I'd ever lie to Violet or hide it from her, but how do you tell your daughter she has a developmental disorder? How do you tell her that her brain is different from all of her friends? How do you put a label on her at four years old? My stomach hurts at the thought of it.

No book for us. At least not now.

cowboy boots and silly tongues...

sweet girl is really into mommy's boots lately!

sharing Popsicles with Saydah!

at baby Penny's first birthday party. Yes, Violet is wearing a tutu.

birthday wishes

birthday fun

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

birthday boy and girl

birthday kiss! can you believe how lucky we are?

happy birthday, sweet girl!


can the frivolity, people.

Sweet Ollie getting some helping blowing out his birthday candles!

Ollie, with best buds Eli and Ezra, having a GREAT time!


Oliver, with Auntie Miss. Did I mention he had an amazing time?





THIS is Violet and I's pose, many, many, MANY times a day. Thank God that even through her meltdowns she will often let me comfort her.

sweet girl not feeling well the next day....

Eek- once again so behind here! And, what's worse, I have three drafts of posts from the last week or so that have been started and neglected.

I'm going to keep it short tonight, as I'm not feeling well (C'mon Z-pack! Do your stuff!), and I have so much to write about (lots of birthday fun! grandparents visits! Sesame Place! Violet's IEP meeting a.k.a how-to-turn-scone-baking-mama-into-bitch-on-wheels! ), that I think I should save it until I can write non-stop!!

Two quick things I want to say:

1. Violet did beautifully at her birthday party! My goal for her was tolerance with a little amusement thrown in, and she far surpassed it. A GREAT deal of this was having her grandparents there and Kristen there, her super-therapist from Lovaas, whom she adores.

There was one moment of the day which is one of my Very Favorite Violet Moments of all time.

We brought her a cupcake with 3 candles in it, and everyone started singing "Happy Birthday". She immediately focused on us, and on the cupcake and had a small smile; completely in the moment with us. After we sang, she propped herself up on her knees, blew the candles out with all of her might, and cheered and clapped for herself with a HUGE smile.

I wanted to sob with happiness, but I couldn't miss a moment of this....moment! So I happy-cried, and clapped and cheered along with her.

And, p.s., that's the wonderful Kristen, and Ollie running back from a quick bathroom trip, yelling, "Wait! It's my birthday! Wait!"









2. Oliver at the party was hilarious! As much as I wish I could give my kids everything in the world, there is something wonderful about having GRATITUDE. Ollie was so excited just to be in the waiting area of Romp n' Roll and see the cupcakes and his relatives there. THEN, his friends started coming in!

"Mama! EZRA's here!!!!!"

"Hi Mia!!!!!!"


THEN we went into the huge gym area, with music and trampolines and moon bounce and bubbles. Seriously, I felt like he was a little strawberry-haired blur the whole hour- running, jumping, laughing, dancing. I just kept thinking, "I know it's only been three years so far, but this has GOT to be the best day of Oliver's life!"

note the cutest monster socks on the planet.

I love these three-year-olds so much!!

luckiest mama in the world

Such a WONDERFUL birthday! Such a LUCKY mama.