can I have a do-over please?

After Violet was diagnosed, Ben and I both agreed to be completely honest with our closest family members- about everything. It was an easy choice; Violet had only a handful of words at 2 1/2, communicating was really hard, and frankly, autism was a pretty good explanation for a lot.

We were even upfront with Oliver about it, right from the start. We explained as simply as possible that Violet's brain worked differently from his and we needed to be especially patient with her. We used the word 'autism' with him, and it was truly helpful in situations where he was frustrated with her not responding to him or tantruming out. Sometimes it even gave us a moment of comic relief .


Here's what genius mommy and daddy hadn't counted on:

Girlfriend becoming crazy verbal and communicative, and brother needed to fill her in on her diagnosis.
Repeatedly.

Or her beloved cousin announcing to everyone that he's "only playing with kids with autism right now", and grabbing Violet by the hand.

Ugh.

Right now, she doesn't get it. Ollie's enlightenment and Trevor's proclamations are either ignored or met blankly. But one day, she will ask, "what's autism?" or "I do?", and how on earth do I answer? And I pray that I get to be the one to answer instead of her brother or a peer.

I'm pretty sure that Ben and I made a colossal error in being so blunt with our then-two-year-old son. Here's hoping for a better path from here on out....

love love love

channeling Rapunzel. I've GOT to find this wig for my girl!

strong boy!!

Edward and Jacob, eat your hearts out...