But more than anything, having all of the above is an amazing gift. Ack, so cliche. I don't know how else to say it. There is simply nothing more astounding to me in the world than seeing the love between my kids. Watching Oliver give Violet the ability to use her words (literally using on her ABA sometimes, "Violet, say, 'No thanks, Ollie'"), strengthen her confidence, teach her how to pretend play or encourage her in social situations.
Also, the part I didn't expect: watching Violet teach Oliver unending patience, selflessness ("Mommy, I will turn off this episode of Little Bear because the frog in this part scares Sissy") and tolerance of people who are different. And, of course, all of this on top of the usual sibling play, fights, silliness and craziness.
Moments happen sometimes between my children that I feel myself try to become instantly invisible. I freeze, remaining as still as possible, not even blinking, so I can breathe in every second of it and burn it into my brain.
Recently, we were at the grocery store. Not an easy outing with both kids, but I was on my way home from somewhere and just needed a few things, so in we went. We got the giant, car-on-the-front cart, because Ollie likes it, and normally I can get Violet to sit in the big part of the cart (meaning I have to get creative about where the actual food goes). Today she wouldn't go in though, so I caved and let her walk with me, holding my hand or holding the cart.
As often happens with us, the first 5 minutes of our outing was fantastic. I literally got a warm feeling in my tummy at how awesome it was going ("yeah! we did it! I've finally figured out how to go somewhere with both kids!").
Dumb, deluded mommy.
We turn the corner out of the first aisle and V sees her opportunity to make a run for it. She dashes from me, running though the deli section, heading to produce (her favorite, if you were wondering. Not to eat, of course, but to admire and caress).
I have a moment of hesitation: Do I leave the cart and Ollie alone and chase Violet? Grab Ollie and run after Violet? Race and weave the huge cart through the store to find Violet? It all sound rotten, but my instincts kick in.
"Ollie- stay here in your car and don't move. Mommy's got to grab Violet and I'll be right back."
I through the store and find the laughing girl with her hands in the apples. I pick her up and hurry back to Oliver. She's crying, everyone's staring.
Returning to the cart, we see that O has made a friend; an employee of the store.
"There's your mommy! Mommy you are bad....."
I focus on the woman, wiping the sweat from my brow and try to ginore Violet chomping on my shoulder.
"Your mommy left her purse in the cart! Someone might have stolen it!"
Yeah, that's totally what I was concerned with. Um, did you not see the whole three-year-old-in-the-apples performance we just put on?
I blather on with thank yous to her for watching Ollie, and, of course, my purse, and in the process, Violet wriggles out of my arms. And runs. Again. Back to the apples.
This time I ask our new friend if she could watch Ollie (and...wait for it....my purse) while I get Violet. Off I speed again...Same scenario, take two.
Returning now, I see Oliver deep in conversation with the employee. She looks up when I arrive with my screaming daughter and says,
"Your son just told me she has autism!"
I chuckle a bit as I catch my breath, "Did he? Wow. Yes, she does. That's why she keeps running away from me."
After this was some sort of conversation with her telling me someone she knows' cousin's friend's son has autism...I try to be polite as I force V into the cart. Somehow in here, I'm grabbing a baba for bribery, and the woman tries to take Violet out of my arms- I'm still not really sure how it happened, but you can imagine that Miss V was NOT having it, and wailed to the heavens.
I begin to politely tell the woman how it's not the best idea, when I hear my boy's voice, small but firm,
"YOU PUT MY SISTER DOWN RIGHT NOW!".
He has gotten out of the car-cart and is standing, looking at us. I swear to you, his little fists were clenched at his sides. It struck me so; I held completely still, partially stunned by his forcefulness and courage and partially overwhelmed with emotion and love.
"YOU DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!"
The woman let go of Violet in my arms, and I crouch down to talk to Ollie,
"Hey, sweetie, it's ok. Thanks so much for protecting Sissy. You are an awesome brother."
I thank/apologize to the woman as we steer away, my mind still on Oliver. Such an amazing show of love on his part; such a gratifying and illuminating and heart-exploding moment for a mommy. I squeeze my girl tightly as Oliver drives us and our cart through the store, thinking how beautifully lucky she is, we all are, that she has a twin.
And that her twin is Oliver.
No comments:
Post a Comment