Eek- right after I wrote the last entry, I had a really cool experience. Often I feel like this whole autism journey is filled with lots of fuzziness- no clear treatments to follow or rules, even my emotions get fuzzy- wavering between hopefulness, wariness, dismay, anger and joy. Every now and then I have a moment that feels like someone has shoved a pair of glasses on my face, and I'm struck by the clarity of everything.
Headed into rehearsal the other day, I stopped at a new bank downtown to make a deposit. I was the only one in a line, but a woman and pre-teen-ish boy were being helped ahead of me. I could see right away something was *different* about the boy; maybe it's my new and undesired radar, maybe it would be obvious to anyone. I really don't remember life before my radar anymore.
So I watched them, smiling like a complete fool. The mother pulled out two new dollar bills. She handed one to the boy and said, "This is for your good behavior, and THIS (giving another dollar) is in hopes you will continue to be good."
He smiled of course, and clapped his hands, but he kept looking at the tellers, saying hello to each of them by name. And they'd say hi back, calling him Kevin, over and over.
The best part was how *chill* the mom was- and not chill like, I've taken my xanax, so whatever.... but just, simply,
accepting.
This was her boy, he liked to say hi, and she went to a bank that was cool saying hi back.
A bazillion times.
She was never apologetic (like I really tend to be), nor was she defensive or angry or exhausted- looking. She laughed when he called one of the tellers "mom", and asked Kevin if he wanted to go with her for a while.
I smiled at them leaving, with tears in my eyes.
Thinking,
If they can do it and turn out that well, we can too.
and
I have hope.
So many moments like this could add up to a sweet pair of glasses.
Headed into rehearsal the other day, I stopped at a new bank downtown to make a deposit. I was the only one in a line, but a woman and pre-teen-ish boy were being helped ahead of me. I could see right away something was *different* about the boy; maybe it's my new and undesired radar, maybe it would be obvious to anyone. I really don't remember life before my radar anymore.
So I watched them, smiling like a complete fool. The mother pulled out two new dollar bills. She handed one to the boy and said, "This is for your good behavior, and THIS (giving another dollar) is in hopes you will continue to be good."
He smiled of course, and clapped his hands, but he kept looking at the tellers, saying hello to each of them by name. And they'd say hi back, calling him Kevin, over and over.
The best part was how *chill* the mom was- and not chill like, I've taken my xanax, so whatever.... but just, simply,
accepting.
This was her boy, he liked to say hi, and she went to a bank that was cool saying hi back.
A bazillion times.
She was never apologetic (like I really tend to be), nor was she defensive or angry or exhausted- looking. She laughed when he called one of the tellers "mom", and asked Kevin if he wanted to go with her for a while.
I smiled at them leaving, with tears in my eyes.
Thinking,
If they can do it and turn out that well, we can too.
and
I have hope.
So many moments like this could add up to a sweet pair of glasses.
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