perspective

Hm.

Last night, I started a new post. I've been having some interesting moments lately with other mommies. Staring at me, at my girl, commenting in an indirect way on things.

Anyhow, the post started as a bit of a rant against other people, but I ran out of steam halfway through, realizing that the anger really isn't there for me.

I tend to be a very confrontational person. I want it all out in the open, as quickly as possible. But somehow, my girl's needs (really, my children's needs, although it hasn't been a issue with Oliver. Yet.) have me effortlessly rising above all that. I expected that I'd pull the autism card when anyone looked at us sideways- autism trumps all, right?

But I haven't done it once.

Most of the time, it's just not worth it. I have all of my energy poured into my family; if you're judging us in a moment (that Violet is drinking a baba at age 3, that she's melting down when I try to take her shoes off, or even that I'm doing a crazy dance to cheer her on for participating), I'm too focused on US to deal with your discomfort/snide looks/eye rolls.

We've been taking a tumbling class the past few weeks, and the other mothers in there do a lot of the above. I'm just thrilled with Violet and her progress, and Oliver and his constant happiness, that it barely registers anymore.

I'm suddenly feeling luckier than any of them.

Ben and I have been watching the show "Parenthood" on tv. We DVR'd it all season, and now we're catching up. It's about four grown siblings and their children, one of whom has autism. He's pretty different than Violet, but we still relate a lot to some of the family's issues. At the end of most episodes, most of the adults are fretting over their kids' various dilemmas, but the parents of the autistic boy are glowing in whatever small yet amazing accomplishment their son has done. Ben and I feel like this.

Before Violet's diagnosis, it was easy to get lost in everyday "problems"- money worries, things wrong with our house or car, a parking ticket. Now, everything is clearly in perspective.

Even the worst day gets lost with a clear, four-word sentence from Violet. Or Oliver's saying, "Mama! Sissy say my name!".

Violet saying her own name during the class song? Forget it- I'm gone.

A hug with a kiss on the mouth? An "I love you.". Ooh- wouldn't even notice a rough WEEK after that joy.

And, really, that's all that matters, right?

I have a feeling that this is yet another beautiful moment being taught to all three of us by our sweet Violet.

Lucky us.